Miracles never cease!

Youngest girl comes up to me tonight and says "mommy, you look tired so do you mind if I brush my teeth, go to the toilet and go to bed"?

Conundrum much?  I was so proud of her I almost wanted her to stay up as a reward for wanting to put herself to sleep (I'm such a hypocrite).

My thoughts were, "hey, want to watch a movie, sleep in my bed, lollies, I'm so proud of you"!

Needless to say she is in bed and asleep and if this is going to be the way it works from now on, bring on the trips (tongue in cheek people) but seriously it's as if these little people have an intuitive sense when they need to straighten up and fly right (hmm, Robbie Williams song comes to mind) and they know that Mommy is tired and doing the best she can.

I'm so proud of them today I want to pour myself a glass or two of wine for all the good parenting I have done (hee-hee).

TTFN

I have NO IDEA what day I'm up too!

So I saw this cartoon and realized that it doesn't matter what "situation" we/anyone is in, it's just how we look at it.  My son asked me today "is a dollar a lot of money" and my reply was, "it's all how you look at it, isn't it, to us it might not seem like much but to those who have nothing it might mean the world".  Then he asked me how long a piece of string was (not really but I felt like that was where he was headed).

Our situation on day two of a 3 week stint of daddy being away might seem awful to us (we are a wee bit emotional tonight) but to others we are lucky to have what is considered a nuclear family and a functioning one at that.  I just got off the phone with Mr De Facto and he is counting the days (we are up to number 2) that he has been gone and I'm just trying to get through the days and not think about it thus realizing it must be hard on him too!

I wonder how many "group" get togethers  the guys have on site for expressing how they feel and sharing with other men, probably not many hence why I'm grateful to FIFO.  They organize a get together once a month for the wives and partners of FIFO's and DIDO's to catch up, have a play and just have a chat to other mothers in the same situation.  There is actually a function planned for this Sunday, see the link below.

http://www.fifofamilies.com.au/BookingRetrieve.aspx?ID=100696

Anyhow, I was keen for a glass of wine tonight and realized I had none in the house and was wondering what I could say to a friend or neighbour:

"Hi, I had to work all day, do you mind coming over for a few minutes to watch the kids so I can go pick up some wine", no mom has EVER said!!!

TTFN

Do they make a bra for front and back?????

Had to post this!

Weekends are hardest

I have a sick little girl, I'm sick and eldest boy is raring to go and it's the weekend, we are missing daddy!

Youngest one asked me today if Daddy has been gone for a year, she has no concept of time so that was an arrow to the heart.  Eldest one asked,  nonchalantly, when is daddy getting home to which I answered, next week!  His response, NONE (which to me was a bit of a worry).

So, trying to find the humour in life at the moment (please don't get me wrong, I AM NOT COMPLAINING), with regards to daily living but can't seem to find any!

I did let the kids sleep in my bed last night, hey, it was Friday, thought it would be a nice treat, NOT!  Even my eldest complained about feet in his face from the youngest and how bad he slept, if only he knew what I endured throughout the night, needless to say, I'm going to bed shortly and they are in their own beds tonight!!!!!

I now realize that writing each day in my blog is probably not possible so I will do the best I can but I'm finding more and more that with each day DF1 is away I am finding that 24 hours does not seem long enough in a day to accomplish everything I need to (including sleep).

I need to go because my youngest is currently "not comfy" and her pillows need to be "fluffed" and my eldest is groaning because his sister is complaining, go figure.

TTFN

p.s., this was me last night with a "5" year old!!!!!

I'm Back - Day 17

Wow, you know that saying "what a difference a day makes"?  What a difference a weekend away makes, it was soooper!  Knowing that DF1 was leaving at the beginning of the week (he actually left today for two weeks), we cherished every moment, each other and the time we had and we didn't fight or argue once, seriously, I'm not lying!!

I found myself more patient with the kids and him and actually myself, more patient with myself, that was new to me!  I am normally so hard on myself but I can't afford to be in this new lifestyle because it gets you no where.

Ok, here goes some honesty, it's his first day away and guess what the kids are having for dinner?  Fish Fingers and Meat Pies, home made of course, as if!  I find the first day he is away my laziest, kinda like I'm playing hookie or something or being truant for motherhood!  I don't make our bed, well, actually, that's normal, I rarely make it.  I sometimes buy tuck-shop for the kids so I can have that extra few minutes of self indulgence in the morning and I don't walk to school, I take the car, yes, we can walk there in 15 minutes but I have the car and I'm going to use it (we only have one car and he needs it for work).

This is a longer stint of him being away, we are working up to the 19 days (this one is only 12) but you know, I think we are going to be fine, mind you, I did get a disturbing questions from oldest boy child this morning.

See, he is aware that families are all different, no two are exactly the same hence the question, "Mummy, who gets to see their daddy more, ***** or us"?  He is referring to someone who sees their daddy on a fortnightly basis because their parents have separated and realized that this could possibly be more then he sees his Daddy and his Mummy and Daddy are still together"!  It's little things like this that pop up that tear at my heart strings and I'm sure there will be many more and hopefully I will be able to comfort him and deal with it, fingers, arms, legs and toes all crossed.

What I wish it looked like

What it actually looks like when he calls

TTFN

p.s., not really cranky, just liked the picture, check with me in a week though and it could be appropriate.

Day 11

I really can't think of anything to say today because I'm not in the best head space.  This past week has not been all "peachy keen" like it should be when DF1 is home, quite the opposite in fact!  I have been feeling overwhelming jealousy, anxiety and "wo-is-me" syndrome and quite frankly, I hate it!  As someone said to me the other day "Get off the cross, we need the wood"!

Communication is at an all time low, and the kids, especially over sensitive BC1 is picking up on the tension I am feeling, I swear I think he has a mental connection to me and he acts out how I'm feeling on a regular basis (kinda freaky).

To be brutally honest, I don't really feel up to writing tonight and I am going to take Day 12 and 13 off because we will be away so I will be back (hopefully in a much better head space) on Day 14 on the eve of departure for DF1 and maybe have some lovely stories to tell you of the weekend away.

I am really feeling my "humanness" tonight and not my normal "I am a super mom and I can do anything" feeling.  I am yet a mere mortal mom who feels flat and icky and grumpy and no one but me can snap myself out of it!  If I didn't know better, I would say I am flirting with anxiety or possibly even the onset of depression but that can't happen because, I have to be strong and "happy" and all together for the sake of my kids when DF1 is away.  I am not going to go into panic mode yet but rather a visit to my doctor to chat about this and make sure I am fully prepared and aware of the signs should they become apparent, that I'm not coping!

On a lighter note, I know this too shall pass (just like a bad curry I suppose) and I just have to grin and bear it (mental image not working for me now) so watch this space and I will let you know how I go (oh, so sorry, pardon the pun).

TTFN

Here's a post for anyone who has made the same lifestyle choice

This is a site that actually "helps" those in the FIFO and DIDO life, my blog is just about me and my family and mostly for my benefit but for those interested in really learning what it's really like and needing to know more, this is a terrific site full of wonderful information.

http://www.fifofamilies.com.au/

TTFN

Day 10

And on the 9th day, she rested!  Yes, I missed a day (day 9), Monday DF1 got back and it was all systems go for this week.  First day back at school (Monday) did all the grocery shopping and cleaning without kids and decided that yesterday (Tuesday) was a well deserved day of rest in every aspect of my life.

You know, DF1 was only gone for 7 days so I can't really base what life is going to be like as a D.I.D.O but the kids and I seemed to take it all in our stride and upon "Daddy's" return we all slipped back into normalcy within hours (which from what I've read will NOT always be the case).  Hey, DF1 and I were even arguing within the first day, who would have thought?  Seriously though, it was just your normal I said, He said, neither of us did it sort of argument, we all have them.

Another positive of being a D.I.D.O family is we take our weekends WAY more seriously now when Daddy is in town!  DF1 is going away again on Monday for 12 days so we are thinking of booking a place away for the weekend to spend some time together away from home so there are no distractions and it's just about us being together (and I don't have to clean up - yup, that's what I'm talking about).

I'm hearing all sorts of interesting stories about life "on site" and I will be sure to share them with you as we go along but for the moment, it's only been a week and the most interesting tidbit of information I learned about was curfew!  Yes, you heard me correctly, grown men having a curfew (secretly, love it)!  Apparently Sun-Thurs gates close at 9:00 pm and Fri - Sat at 10:00 pm so if you leave site and are not back by that time you are kinda in a predicament (or on the first bus home).

There is a wet area on site but there also is a no alcohol tolerance, not at night but upon sign-in in the morning.  All those guys out there making a heap of extra money with not a lot to do and missing their families could often enjoy the daily drink which, unfortunately could lead to a more severe problem.  Look, they can still have a drink after work but you better be sure to blow 0.00 in the morning or I believe it's a warning the first time and then you are out!

Life on site is definitely an eye opener and I know for sure I couldn't do it so I consider myself to be the lucky one in this situation (some might disagree).  I know DF1 certainly misses the kids and the comforts of home, life in a Donga is not ideal!

On that little tidbit,

TTFN



For those of you who don't know, this is what a typical "Donga" looks like, pretty sure that won't be on the next Holiday Travel Brochure!

Day 8

DF1 is home (just a few hours ago) only for a week then back again on Monday for 12 days, so, needless to say.

TTFN

Is exactly how I greeted him, and neither are the kids, we did it!

(hee-hee)

Day 7 - NOT IN THE MOOD

How I'm feeling tonight after a crazy, busy weekend.

Does anyone else have to resort to yelling at their kids to go to sleep, keep quiet, stop asking for things, etc., etc?

I feel overwhelming guilt that the last thing they hear after I have spent 10 minutes reading Rumpelstiltskin to them is my voice (now croaky) at a very high pitch dreadful sound saying to them "go to sleep or else".  Why do I even have to negotiate, and why do they not get it after SEVERAL YEARS, you HAVE TO GO TO BED!!!

This is where I am missing DF1 because if he yells at them to "go to sleep", they don't say another word, what's with that and how do I obtain it?

I sit here now feeling awful, the dreaded "Mother Guilt" has started to overtake me and now I feel like I have to be a Fairy Godmother tomorrow to make up for their last thoughts before bed being that of a "meanie mom".  What's even worse is I fell into the "I have spent these past two weeks making sure every need of yours has been met and what about me"?  Oh for goodness sake, how immature is that and how silly, my kids don't get it for the simple reason they are kids and all they know is it's my job to keep them happy but I STILL DID IT and now I feel like crap.

So, here's hoping that things fall back into some sort of normality tomorrow with school starting and me being able to have a few hours to stop and just be.

How I wish my kids thought of me tonight...........

How they probably think of me tonight...............

TTFN

p.s., I have now just had to yell again at GC1 because, get this, she is singing and won't go to sleep.  How do you yell at a child for singing?  It's breaking me apart but I said it's bedtime and it's a school day tomorrow and they have to be quiet!  She even socked one below the belt and said "mummy hates me", man, where do they get this from, it's like being stabbed in the heart!

Day 6

Yeah, it's the weekend!  Wait a minute, what difference does that make when you are a D.I.D.O, none, especially during school holidays.  I'm currently at a friends, looking after their three kids and my two for a break (no, I'm not lying), my kids (and me) are excited to be in a different environment (having a sleep over as well) and all the kids play well and are currently watching a movie (quietly) and having some sushi and chips, interesting combo!

So, have learned that I have to keep up on everything or else this is the result, this is my bed and it's covered in folded  laundry and no, I'm not terribly worried about the folding, come to think of it, I don't iron either.  Thank goodness I or DF1 doesn't have to sleep in it tonight!



This first week has been a harsh reality at how unorganized I am and where the leaks are in my "ship" of a home.  I will prevail and overcome this and come out the other side a stronger more organized and focused person (I'm silently excited about this).

So, there is always a silver lining in everything and I'm finding many in this new adventure, first step conquering the laundry, next the kitchen, then the kids room/toys and wait for it THE GARAGE, ok maybe shouldn't be thinking Mt. Everest when I'm only able to walk down the street at the moment but they always say,  a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step (or something like that).



Not my house but at the moment it certainly feels like it, here's to posting a much nicer image in the months to come.

TTFN

Some days we just need a little reminder

I totally get kids saying "are we there yet, are we there yet"?  Because I'm thinking the same way, "is it Monday yet, is it Monday yet"?  Don't get me wrong I adore my children but I really need for school holidays to finish because I have almost forgotten that my first name isn't Mom!

Amazingly enough though, kids have been quite good today, I just heard GC2 asking BC1 for help and he said "anytime" but then corrected himself and changed it to "anytime that I decide I want to help you, ok", I so wish I could use that line and it was acceptable.

My main checklist today was:

* Morning - feed children

* Mid Morning - check they are still breathing

* Lunch - feed children

* Mid Afternoon - convince them that's it's totally cool to have an afternoon sleep

*Evening - feed children, put them to bed and pray they sleep in

Did notice one small thing today, we had a visit from a dear friend today and both children proceeded to rough house and play and climb all over him and it just reminded me of how much their daddy does let them do this when he is at home.  They both also told me that they miss daddy because he plays with them and that I was always to busy to play because I had to cook and clean all the time, argh!!

TTFN

What's the date today?

Day 4 - Why am I doing this, remind me again?

6:00 pm and I wish my kids were asleep because I am (well, just about, more like sleep walking at the moment).  Fed and washed, teeth brushed, pj's on now just waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, I miss the day's when BC1 didn't know how to tell time, once it was dark it could be "bedtime" if you think about it but now, it's not until it's the actual "time of bed" according to BC1.

I bid you farewell for today because my brain has signed off and now I'm just waiting for the kids too!

TTFN

I hope this isn't really true but something tells me that some people feel a wee bit guilty at the moment, glass houses people, glass houses!

LET PEOPLE HUG YOU

ENOUGH SAID

A Few Cracks

So, GC2 (new abbreviation, Girl Child 2) is in bath and say's "leave the door open Mummy in case daddy comes home while I'm still in it"!

BC1 (new abbreviation, Boy Child 1), says, "this is the worst day ever (he crashed several times on the scooter), when daddy gets home I will tell him all about it and ask why he didn't fix my scooter".

Please accept my apologies in advance to all my vegan friends but half a side of beef downstairs needed to be cut, across the grain.  No problem but the grain was constantly changing and my DF1 who knows all about cutting beef was not here to assist.  Small gloat, I did it and think I did a good job, if not, stew for all of us for months.

Having to race out to the shops to pick up a few key ingredients needed for dinner only to have to load up kids in the car just to get some Greek yoghurt and eggs, much easier to do when DF1 is home.  I'm sure this problem will not be an issue once school starts back, I will have plenty of time to clean the house do the laundry and shopping and mending and.................you get my point!

Skype is currently not available out in the middle of nowhere (who would have thought, is anyone picking up on my sarcasm) along with telephone "bars" so our communication has been brief and to the point via a borrowed phone, i.e., "Hi, how was your day, me, good, kids are alive, no major injuries, dogs been fed, hope you are well, talk to you later, bye, yes, I took the bins out, oh, Love you" Click!  Isn't it ironic, we were given an original Morris Code device today, wonder how that would work?

Seriously though, we are settling and I don't dwell on the fact that this is going to be my life for the next several years because there are a lot of wonderful things to look forward to and the money, well, isn't that why we are doing it?

TTFN

Of course I'm fine, just looking after a few extra kids today, no problem.

Day 3 - Creed

I shall not judge my house, my kids activities or my crafting skills by Pinterest Standard's!

I shall not measure what I have accomplished today by the ton of unfolded laundry and dishes in the sink but by the assurance of deep love I've tickled into C1 & C2.

I shall say "yes" to blanket forts and play dough and messy craft and see past the chaos but to the memories we are building.

I shall surprise my kids once in awhile with trips to get ice cream whey they are already in their pj's.

I WILL NOT compare myself to other mothers but find my own identity and embrace it along with the children I have been blessed with.

I will try my best to remember that a messy house at peace is better than an immaculate house tied up in knots (I've nailed this one).

I shall play my Country/Folk Music loudly (sorry DF1) and teach my kids the joy of wildly, uncoordinated dancing, just like me.

I shall remind myself that perfect is just a street sign at the intersection of impossible and frustration in Never Never Land.

I shall embrace the fact that becoming a Mom I traded perfect for a house full of real.

I shall promise to love this body that bore these two children, out loud, especially in front of my daughter (C2).

I shall give my other mother friends the gift of guilt-free friendship.

I shall do my best to admit to my people my "not so fine" moments

I shall say sorry when sorry is necessary

I hope that I shall never be too proud, angry or stubborn to ask for my children's forgiveness when required.

I shall make space in my own grown up world for "goof" ball moments with my kids

I shall love their father and make sure THEY know I love him.

I shall model kind words to kids and grown ups alike.

I shall not be intimidated by the inside of my car this time of  wrappers, odd socks and single shoes will one day pass.

I shall always make time to encourage and compliment other moms.

I shall not resent the last call for water, hugs and kisses because when I blink it will be gone.

TTFN

I must get me some of these tomorrow!!!!

Why didn't I know about this before today????

Day 2

It's just after 9 pm and the kids are in bed however they are not asleep (don't even think about judging me, glass houses remember) and they are jabbering away and you know what, I'm not stopping them because they are not fighting and it's nice for the first time today.

I'm not sure if school holidays is the best time to start a life as a DIDO because I don't think it's a real indication of what to expect, with all the rain and not a lot to do the kids have not been exactly well behaved.  Their routine or lack of it is all over the shop and I only have myself to blame.  Mind you, I'm not going to beat myself up (now that's a rarity) because I'm a newbie and I'm giving myself some "teething" time.

A big shout out to a terrific book I have started to read called Mining Families Rock from the creators of Mining Family Mattres, www.miningfm.com.au it's a complete guide to dealing with this new lifestyle (and NO, I'm not getting paid to mention them).

I'm not sure if this is just a novelty but waking up this morning I realized I slept through the night not only because both children stayed in their beds (a miracle in itself) but because I didn't have to listen to any snoring from my now absent partner, the sound of silence was wonderful but I'm sure will be deafening as the days pass but for now, SCORE!!!

Thank goodness for my network of wonderful friends or as I like to call them my tribal mommas because that's what they are to me at the moment and possibly the only ones reading this blog (thanks ladies).  I had a break for a few hours today, not that I needed it but it was nice to drop off the kids for a play whilst I ran numerous errands that are far to difficult to do with children in tow.  Funny, I call it a break when in actuality I was doing what I had to do to keep my household in check and make sure my list was attended to.  Why is it that moms (or at least me) think that doing anything even chores sans kids is considered a break???

Neither child has shown any obvious signs of disruption with DF1 being away but I have had other children around and have been trying to keep them busy with movies, play centres, play dates and take away, yup, that dreaded prefabricated food that kids seem to love.  Mind you, I have become aware of an interesting development, when you take the "toy" out of the equation and offer them just one or two things on the menu they are not so keen and I managed to drive away paying only $3.00 for several bags of french fries because they were not really interested in the food, well for today at least.

I've taken the bins out put the kids and dog to bed manged to clean up part of the kitchen and am about to pour myself a glass of wine and go and watch some mind numbing television.  I probably should hang up the washing that is in the machine from the load I did this morning but it's far too cold and hey, I can just rewash in the morning and start again it's not like I have to have clothes ready for tomorrow!

TTFN

p.s., must remember to wash my face before I go to bed, I don't have to worry about it now that DF1 is gone but I might scare the kids a bit, you think?

First night things I miss

Things I miss on first night of DF1 being away: taking dog out to go to the toilet in the rain before bed (i'm usually passed out before this).  Making sure Kids brush their teeth (his job when he is at home).  Carrying the kids to the toilet just before "he" goes to bed to make sure they don't go to the "toilet" when they are asleep.  Locking up the house, turning off all the lights, making sure everything is safe and secure and making sure we are safe and secure.  I know I could do this but it's nice when he does this, thank you DF1.